Out of Lullabies

louvelylouis:

this is literally the plot of sakamoto days

msanonymous:

-Words leave me-

They say I’m good with words. But am I though? Because I’ve always seen them leaving me mid conversations, while consoling others, answering questions about myself, when I need them the most, all the time. Maybe my love isn’t enough to make them stay. Words leave me. The moment I have to voice them to others. And I’m just left there with my crippling anxiety and deafening silence between me and others, that makes me wanna unalive myself. 

I remember how yesterday a friend of mine came up to me and said “Can you please write down this essay for me, my class starts in 23 minutes, my grades and my life depends on it! Please!” And I did and handed it over to her after 19 minutes and she said “Thank you!” And just at that moment I felt the words leaving and then I saw her leaving too. And just when she became so distant that she couldn’t hear even if I yelled those words that came back to me, the second I was out of time. “Next time don’t say please” “Friends don’t say thank you to each other” “It was no big deal” “I’m here for you” “Anytime?”

They left when I handed over my assignment to the Professor and she said “Wow… You’re quite good in this language” and I smiled and left the room. “I’m not good at it, it’s just my mother tongue, I’m good at nothing.” “It’s just because I’ve read quite a few books in that language.” “I’ve written some poems that don’t rhyme in that language”

A friend in class asked me “What rhymes with, ‘First’?” “Coerced” I answered a second later. She jotted it down and said “How do you remember these things, it’s out of my mind” and I just shrugged because there were no words left inside of me. “I’ve spent 17 minutes thinking about that a day before yesterday, that’s how my dumb brain remembers that”

The other day during a conversation, a person asked me “How do you remember all these conversations, I forget them the second I move on to the next one” and I just sat and stared at the floor with a head filled with anything but proper words. “You’ll remember them too, if you were like me.” “I only remember the ones in which I don’t get the chance to speak, because when you don’t get to speak you listen, intently” “I only remember the ones in which I get to say something, because there’s only a few of them”

They left, when Mother asked me “What’s wrong?” on our way home from the doctor’s office. And came rushing back when I was alone in my room again. “Everything?” “Things happening in my life?” “Things I’m doing in my life?” “Me?”

A stranger read a piece I wrote and said “You’re good with words, like really really good” and they left. “No, I’m not good enough to make them express what I really feel, to make them save me from hearing the sound of silence, to make them free me from my imprisoning anxiety, to make them stay inside of me”

~ms.anonymous

{Excerpt from the diary/ I can’t read without crying}

(via mysterieuxclairdelune)

yellowraincoat:

Okay, here’s the thing: the show really REALLY did the Combe Carey plotline dirty

In the books, the Combe Carey Hall case sets up so much about Lockwood’s character. BECAUSE Fairfax seeks them out and not the other way around, it makes him suspicious to Lockwood, and from there Lockwood is able to set up so many other clever things. From doing research on Fairfax, to pre-re-con on the hall, to bribing the cab driver to call Barnes. In the book, it’s not just a haunting they run blindly through, but one that Lockwood is well prepared for and well prepared to be sabotaged during.

If Lockwood doesn’t know who Fairfax is until halfway through the haunting (as it is in the show) it makes him look like a bad leader who walked his friends into danger without knowing the whole story. And it makes his being upset in the next episode about them not getting press from Combe Carey feel totally unjustified.

In the show, Lockwood barely did anything on that case. He just happened to be the victim of an attempted murder plot and just happened to survive.

In the books, this case shows how clever he is and makes it clear what his strengths are. In the books it’s clear that Lockwood and Co as a whole has a great team with amazing skills individually who haven’t hit their stride yet.

In the show, it just seems like Lockwood is an egomaniac who can’t acknowledge that his agency is not as great as he thinks it is, and that neither Lucy or George really have all that much faith in him.

Anyway, I knew the show was going to have to cut and change things for times-sake, but Lockwood is just about my favorite character in the book series, and he is MISSING the competence to back his bluster in this show. The reality is if he’s going to be that incompetent and that cocky about it, people who haven’t read the books are going to find him so unlikeable.

mysterieuxclairdelune:

{Alice Oseman, Radio Silence/ Emily Palermo, from Untitled/ Franz Kafka, from Diaries/ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar/ Marya Hornbacher, Waiting/ Nikos Kazantzakis, from a letter to Galatea Kazantzaki wr. c. May 1922/ Mahmoud Darwish/ Anna Akhmatova, from The Complete Poems of Anna Akhmatova; “The Old Portrait”/ Lyric Hunter, from “A Garden,” Swallower/ Albert Camus/ Varsha/ Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Meek One}

nothingbutloveforyou:

i think waiting together is a love language. wait for the train with me, so we can talk a little longer. wait for dinner with me, we can slow dance in the kitchen. wait for me until i can talk after crying my eyes out, hold me, we will figure it out. wait for me when it gets rough, i know i can get through this (with you). wait for me in the car, this song is too good to not finish listening to it. wait for the first snow with me, cold red noses and bright eyes. lets wait for each other, i love you.

kawaii-pigeon:

cattoru:

“he’s a murderer” to YOU. well to me too but i forgive him<3

He hasn’t murdered me so i dont see the problem ¯＼_(ツ)_/¯

(via willhavetheirtrinkets)

molabuddy:

*stumbles out of a building covered in blood* i failed a social interaction .

(via colubrina)

kermitlesbian:

hm. i think every time i feel an impulse to people please, to be unproblematic and likable and charming and feel the safety that comes with universal adoration, i need to remind myself that i want to be loved like a person, not like a dog.

(via colubrina)

prisonhannibal:

first of all I don’t “waste” time on stupid things I spend time on stupid things there’s a difference

(via senlinyu)

galwednesday:

perennial-lee:

Anti-revenge narrative this, anti-revenge narrative that, I personally think that Inigo Montoya had the right idea when he stabbed Count Rugen in the gut and said “I want my father back, you son of a bitch”

A lot of revenge arcs end with the hero saying “there’s nothing you can do to bring my loved one back, so me seeking revenge is pointless.” The Princess Bride’s revenge arc ends with Inigo Montoya saying “there’s nothing you can do to bring my loved one back, so there’s nothing that can save you.”

(via cherryfury)